The Therapist is In

Petruchio and Katharina came in to see me due to the problems that they were having with their marriage.  Petruchio complained that Kate was being too loud and wasn't respecting him as a husband.  Kate complained that Petruchio wasn't feeding her or providing for her, and that he was flirting with other women in front of her. 

To help them get through their problems, I tried some role playing, with each of them playing the other.  Petruchio made a mockery of the session and acted overly subservient while Kate just kept yelling.  After a brief recess to cool down I told them to take it more seriously, and we got a little more progress.  Petruchio started to undertand how ridiculous some of his requests were and Kate well... she kind of stayed the same way.  But good on Petruchio for at the very least recognizing that, in his own words, "I see how a small number of my requests, could be perceived as barely ridiculous."  Then Kate responded with sharp sarcasm, and Petruchio completely lost his temper.  But you know, baby steps.

I think that the visit today was a good stepping stone and a way to improve their relationship.  In the short term I think that they should try to identify the problems they have with each other and just talk through it.  The biggest problem is communication.  In the long term they should reach a point where they understand each other's problems and continue communication and display their gratitude and affection for each other.

Maiden Names

How important is the last name of a person? It represents one on forms and documents. and is what you pass on to your children.  It seems a little too important to just say, oh women should take the last name of their husbands.  However, there does not seem to be a elegant solution present.  Men taking their wive's last names presents the same problem.  Hyphenating seems to be a balanced solution, but that gets old pretty quickly.  No one wants a last name with 4 (or even 8) different components in it.    Choosing a new last name after marriage solves these problems, but it estranges relatives and will make tracing ancestry even harder, and also is an odd choice.  I think that whatever the spouses wish should be whatever happens, and its just a matter of personal preference.

Feminism

I think that Feminism is a great ideal, and I do consider myself a feminist is the sense that women and men should be equal and treated as such by society.  However, I think that a big problem that many people face in identifying as a feminist or not is that feminism has been such a loaded word in recent history.  Because its an ideal rather than an organization, there is no governing body that decides what is or is not feminism.  Everyone interprets how to be a feminist differently, so there are a lot of differing views on subjects within the feminist community.  For example, many feminists believe that women should be sexually promiscuous to show that they own their own sexuality while others believe that women should have sex less to be taken more seriously by men and the society.  Because feminists have differing views on so many important issues, its really hard to say what makes you a feminist or not.  If you believe women and men should be equal you should be a feminist, but what if you disagree on the meaning of equal or the best way to achieve that equality with the modern feminist movement.  What are you then?